Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize