just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
