Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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