when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
