The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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