I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
