Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
