I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
