I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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