I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
