Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
