Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
