So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
