Sry I called you an 8
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
