Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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