You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We left the knife in your bed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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