How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
