I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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