Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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