I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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