Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
