plz talk dirty to me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
