I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
