My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
