if i died would you start the facebook group?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
