and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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