We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
