Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
