i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
