no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
