either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize