hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
