jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In America we eat man semen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
