no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Alive.
So much puke
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
