I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
