i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
