He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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