I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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