Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize