She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
