okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
