So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize