I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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