i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
