sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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