What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
