she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
