Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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