I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
