U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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