I love black thongs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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