Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
