I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
