When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
