I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
