And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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