I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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