the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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