I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
