Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
