lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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