i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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